Life

My Post-Child Life Crisis

Sometimes life really sucks and you want to scream and tell everyone about how much it sucks. Like say, for instance, a blog about how cold its been lately. But then it warms up to 40 degrees and the sun shines and you think, “Whoa, I really blew a gasket back there. What happened?”

Yes, it’s been a tough winter for me and my wife. We moved across the country (from California coastland, no less) to upstate New York. We don’t know anybody, it’s cold, and I’m so busy with school that I can’t pee without compromising study time.

Lately, the loss of time has put me in a funk. Admittedly, I’m a creature of habit. I like coffee in the morning. I also like to do nothing in the morning. If I can swing it, I’ll read my Bible and center myself and pray and ask God to forgive my binge watching of Dexter. (more…)

New Beginnings Abound! (or, Mr. Hungry, my Frightful Friend)

I started a new job today. It’s a mentorship program for at-risk youth in the Rochester City School District. I’m still learning what organization does what, which branch represents which function, and who exactly I’m working for (the U of Rochester, I think), but the building, at least, is labeled the Center for Community Health. Specifically, my program is UR BOLD (Building Outstanding Leadership and Distinction).

A startling statistic I heard today is that only 10% of Black males graduate high school in Rochester (9% Latinos). Crazy, eh? If there was ever a job for a skinny, white, redheaded kid from California… I’m not sure this would be it. However, I’m up for the challenge! I couldn’t be more excited.

The past two or three months I’ve been working as a barista in a local grocery store. The job was okay; I had to wear a goofy hat and listen to my coworkers talk about boy problems while making microwaved breakfast sandwiches. Overall, the job weighed empty on my shoulders. I needed something meaningful.

SIDE NOTE: It doesn’t get more meaningful than coffee; however, this grocery chain isn’t what one would call “speciality” or as I like to call, “good.”

(more…)

Coming Clean (and Other Updates)

#1. The Twitter Ministry was a satiric joke. My apologies to anyone offended/interested in helping my faux cause.

#2. I passed my Econ final. Yes! Remember that one test (or class) I cried about? Totally passed it. Thank you for the prayers and for the confidence boosters along the way.

#3. My annual Winter Break video-game veg-out has begun: Batman: Arkham City. So far, it’s awesome. I get to pretend to be Batman for a few hours everyday. Watch out, Batkid.

#4. My wife goes to work while I stay at home and play video games.

SIDE NOTE: Delete #4

#6. I have seemed to misplace #5.

#7. Today, I watched a new music video for an indie-rock band called Tokyo Police Club. I have a couple of their albums; however, I haven’t listened to them in a year or longer. It turns out, they are still around and are making great music. Check out their intriguing new video HERE. (more…)

Grandpa Jerry: A Remembrance

Amidst a week of midterms, class projects, Steinbeckian novels, and part-time (but really more hours than any college-student could ever function with) employment training, my grandfather, Jerry Hilstein, passed away.

It wasn’t a complete shock. We received message that hospice had taken over and that any day Grandpa Jerry would move on to another world. The next morning he was gone.

A crazy week ends and I’m finally able to process my grandfather’s death.

So I’ll try my best for an obituary or eulogy. Me and him were never very close, to be honest. I have a handful of memories, all good, but just a handful. This year I lived in California (where I’m originally from) for a six-month internship while awaiting to start University of Rochester.

I worked for my uncle, Jerry’s son, and Jerry lived in the area. My grandfather suffered a heart attack, and we knew things were spiraling down. The good news, for me at least, was that I was around and got to know him a little better, if even just a little.

(more…)

27

I turned 27 today. Every so often I like to change my age—keep it fresh. I’m a creature of habit that way. What can you say about getting older? Nothing really. Sometimes life is swell, and you want time to stand still to be able to appreciate it. But then the moment passes and we’re on to life’s frustrations and complications and standing arounds.

I had to work on my birthday. That’s the worst. 6am to 1:30pm. It was okay though, better early than late. Right now, my wife is making me a vegetarian eggs benedict (veggie benny: my favorite) for dinner, and I’m comfortable in the new clothes I’ve purchased for myself. Later, we’re going to a local brewery and grabbing a drink and desert. And after that…. if I’m really lucky, I’ll— what? I was going to say watch Skyfall on Netflix.

I’m trying to find something witty to end this little soliloquy with. Life just keeps moving forward, don’t it? I’m 27. Good lord, wasn’t I just learning how to drive and smashing my red ’96 Chevy Blazer into a stranger’s car in my high-school parking lot?  (more…)

Guest Post: Delight in Disorder
The following is a guest post from my dear friend (and author!), Tony Roberts. Give him your full attention, class. To find out more about his new memoir, Delight in Disorder, click on the book-cover at the bottom. 

Still Relevant After All These Years

TonyBookCover2My name is Tony Roberts.  I am a balding middle-age Midwesterner.

Some people having a midlife crisis buy Harleys. Some open meth labs. I blog.

As I approach the half-century mark of riding this roller-coaster called life, I look for signs that I’m still relevant.  At the top of my list of “Proof-positive that I am still hip” are three things –
  1. Write a song for Mumford & Sons and accompany them on lead guitar in a world-wide tour.
  2. Co-star with Jennifer Lawrence in a re-make of Silver Linings Playbook that replaces the sappy Hollywood ending with something delightfully disordered.
  3. Guest-blog on The Number Kevin.

While waiting for stage and screen, I got an invitation from Kevin — proving I’ve still got it.

Who Am I and What Am I Doing Here

I am a man with an unquiet mind and I have “A Way With Words.”  I’ve been following The Number Kevin for almost a year now.  I was here before Kevin’s rise to “Freshly Pressed” fame, back when he was a young pup sniffing his way around the blogosphere, writing with wit and raising compelling questions about life and faith.

While I like nearly everything Kevin writes, I have been particularly drawn to his clarion calls for Christians to be who we are called to be.  Having served nearly two decades in the Church, I’ve seen some of the best and worst she has to offer.  While I strongly believe we need the body of Christ to keep us alive in faith, the Church also needs to become better at honoring distinct body parts for their essential value and vital function.

Ministry and Madness

In February of 1995, while climbing up the ecclesiastical ladder, I was struck by an apocalyptic vision.  Unlike John of Patmos, mine wasn’t from God.  It was a medication-induced psychotic episode and it landed me on a psych ward where I was told I’d never work in ministry again, my wife would divorce me, and I would spend the rest of my life in and out of hospitals.  Then, to boost my spirits, they handed me a crayon and encouraged me to “draw anything you want.

By the grace of God, and with the faithful support of countless friends and family, I served another dozen years in ministry.  My wife and I have been married (for better and for worse) over 23 years.  And I have come to enjoy a fruitful period of what my psychiatrist calls, “maintenance remission.”

A Memoir and A Mission

Having served in ministry with madness, I now have a mission – to join God at work in the world breaking down barriers and building bridges between the faith community and people wrestling with mental illness.  Many folks with mental illness are angry at God and have abandoned faith.  Some have been turned away by insensitive church folks who lack a compassionate Christian understanding of mental illness.  I live in both worlds and have experienced divine delight in the disorder of mind.  Now, I aim to share the hope I’ve found in Christ and foster a community of care embracing folks like me.

The first step of my mission is to share my story.  I have written a spiritual memoir.  With the help of editor Leanne Sype and graphic artist Nicole Miller, we are conducting an indiegogo campaign to raise funds for publication, increase awareness, and promote prayer for our mission.  We are well on our way to reaching our goal.  More importantly, beyond the numbers, God is doing great things to break down barriers and build bridges.

To learn more about my memoir and our mission, visit our indiegogo site – Delight in Disorder: Ministry, Madness, Mission.  Be sure to watch the video and listen to the music of Kevin’s band “The Function.”

UnknownNow, in the spirit of The Number Kevin, let me ask you….

How might we best offer hope to those battling mental illness?

What obstacles do you see in the faith community that keep us from reaching out?