Sometimes life really sucks and you want to scream and tell everyone about how much it sucks. Like say, for instance, a blog about how cold its been lately. But then it warms up to 40 degrees and the sun shines and you think, “Whoa, I really blew a gasket back there. What happened?”
Yes, it’s been a tough winter for me and my wife. We moved across the country (from California coastland, no less) to upstate New York. We don’t know anybody, it’s cold, and I’m so busy with school that I can’t pee without compromising study time.
Lately, the loss of time has put me in a funk. Admittedly, I’m a creature of habit. I like coffee in the morning. I also like to do nothing in the morning. If I can swing it, I’ll read my Bible and center myself and pray and ask God to forgive my binge watching of Dexter.
But this semester, oh, this semester. It’s stolen everything away from me (notice where the emphasis of blame is). Not only am I taking 22 credits (22.5 technically, thanks to an upper-level writing class), but I’m working 20 hours/week. I’m also training for a half-marathon which sounded like a great idea at the start of the year.
And then sometimes it hits me. Like a cold slap on the face, like someone pouring eggs down my trousers, I’m acting like a baby. No, babies are innocent. How about this, I’m acting more like a child. My time is my toy, and toy has been taken away from me, and I can’t stop crying about it.
Here’s my apology.
SIDE NOTE: The Florida contest is still very much on.
Time is a freedom often abused. When we have it, we waste it. When we don’t have it, we crave it. Finally, ten minutes open and you find yourself on Facebook or reading some stranger’s blog. And it’s gone.
I have a feeling that I am in the midst of a generation that has had more free time than any other generation before it, a generation of spoiled toddlers.
Maybe if I start being thankful for the opportunities I have (and stop focusing on those I don’t), I can find a little more peace. Here’s to starting over and thinking fresh. Here’s to framing positivity. Here’s to getting through the post-child life crisis.