Life

25


Well here it is. I’m 25. Great… In all seriousness today has been an awesome day. I really feel like an adult, mature and all.

For instance, I went shopping with my grandma. Then I went to math class. I’m about to watch Thor on blu ray. So yes, as you can gather, I’m basically still 15. What is ten years anyways?

Speaking of 15, my band played a show last night in Spokane. We played 2nd and the first band was a group of 15 year olds playing Romones -ish type music.What’s truly enjoyable about my band, is that since we fit into a lot of varieties of “rock,” we get to play with a lot of different types of bands. There are some that are great, and then there are some that are just not my cup of tea, coffee, or egg nog. (more…)

Kevin Claude Van Damnit!: The Perils of Landscaping

You know that awesome, cliché action-movie sequence where the hero jumps out of a car right before it shoots off a cliff? I’m sure you know what I mean.

I’ve always wanted to do that!

Today was going to be an easy day. You know… day off from my main job at the market, do a little side-job yard work, get a little sunshine. I didn’t realize I’d be jumping off a riding lawnmower as it plunged downhill.

I should explain.

On Wednesdays, I landscape for a really nice lady named Lois. She lives outside of Coeur d’Alene in the “fancy home overlooking the lake on a hill” district. Every summer she rents her house (or yard I should say) for weddings.

She has a nice riding mow, and I genuinely love the job. It’s outside and beautiful and even fun. That said, every landscaper who works a riding mow will mention a turn that makes their teeth grind. My “turn,” happens to have a hill next to it that dramatically declines into wilderness. No problem.

Today, the grass was wet.

Moments

It’s funny how time seems to slow down in radical moments. Looking back, I felt like I could’ve prepped a tuna salad sandwich with the time I had before the fall, which was really only two or three seconds.

I better Titanic off of this thing!

I jumped and hit the ground, soon hearing the mower make a ‘crunch’ sound. I stood up, as slowly as I could muster, and turned my head towards the direction of the renegade-riding mower. God, I didn’t want to look.

“Oh my goodness,” I said. “It’s fine!”

There, downhill, the mower rested in a safe net of bushes. In fact, it couldn’t have had a softer landing. Laughing, I ran down the hill and jumped on the dusty mower and started the engine. I threw the gear in reverse but it wouldn’t go. It tried, I tried, the wheels turned and all, but it wouldn’t go. After a good ten minutes of this back and forth gear shifting, manually lifting the mower, and pushing and pulling in ridiculous helplessness, I rested.

Prayer

I thought about calling some friends, but everyone I knew lived roughly twenty-hours away in California. Lois was gone for a few hours, the only good thing.

“Lord,” I pleaded, “You gotta get me out of this, you gotta send me somebody!”

The hill looks bigger in person okay?

During the summer, Lois turns her guest room into a bed and breakfast. I thought the house was empty, but I forgot about the B&B guests! Suddenly, I heard a door open.

“Hey! Hey!” I rushed up the hill to the guest’s door with my arms waving. Flustered and bewildered, the man stepped back and threw his fists into a fighting stance (protecting his wife).

“Do you… I… well…” I was out of breathe and apparently lost my vocabulary on the fall. It wasn’t helping my case that the stranger thought me a lunatic. Thankfully, his eyes looked down and saw the green on my clothes and (eventually) the mower in the bushes.

“Did you ride that down the hill?” He asked.

“No… It rolled down by itself.”

His eyes widened and he made the hand gesture of a rolling car. “It rolled?”

“Well no, it roooollllled.” I made the gesture of a smooth downward drift with my hand. I must’ve looked insane. Crazy or not, this answered prayer of a man helped me pull, push, and lift the mower out of the bushes.

It turned out this guy was a saint.

Fin.

Getting out of the bushes was only half the battle, but I will spare you the rest of that crazy story (it included ‘off roading’ further down). All in all, the mower was fine. I even got it back in the yard and finished mowing before Lois came home. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. “Hey, I took your expensive (brand new) riding mow on a joy ride to the lake.”

I didn’t say that.

My conscious got the best of me, and I did tell her. She took it great and actually laughed when I gave her the story. She felt bad for me, could you believe that?

Epilogue

What’s the moral to this tale? Hmmmmm…

Watch out for wet grass?

Don’t cut too close to the edge?

God answers prayer?

Before I left, I took one more glance at the spot where it all went down. The soft breeze was blowing and the sun was finally shining. Down the hill, the bushes were tromped and a freshly made ‘mower size’ trail existed, showing my fateful path. I stood and looked, both triumphant and stupid, gazing with astonishment, and thinking only “Man, that was bad ass.”

One Year Thingamagoo

Well I thought I’d take a break from our luxurious vacation and blog a little bit about the whole one year anniversary thingamagoo.

I don’t really have too much to say, other than that being married is an awesome, fulfilling, and challenging adventure. Although it may sound cliche, it is true that marriage isn’t always easy. Especially when your spouse isn’t as perfect as you. Ha ha, no but seriously… (more…)

Fly Fishing: The First Outing

I went fly fishing today, my first time—accomplished fly fishermen are potentially already laughing. In my defense, I’m currently taking a Summer course at the college. I’ve been practicing.

We cast on the soccer field, people walk by and snicker. It’s mildly humiliating.

So I finally ventured out today on my own with a tackle-box full of brand-new flies, tippets and leader lines. I caught so much stuff!

First, I caught my hat. Then after catching the bushes behind me a few times, I lost my fly in the water. After replacing the fly, I caught the tree above my head and lost yet another fly.

After twenty minutes of this business, a fisherman trolled by and asked how I was doing. I tried to play it off fancy, but my reel popped off the rod and dropped in the water (still don’t know how this happened). Red in the face, I picked up the reel and hurriedly tightened it back on, only to immediately get stuck in the tree again after my next cast.

“Fine…”, I said.

Later, as I was deciding a better name for “fly fishing” would be “snag stupid,” a family rolled up next to me and began to fish. Within a minute of the grandpa’s first cast, he caught a very keepable, beautiful long fish. He laughed, the family applauded and took pictures. It really was a joyous time. “After only one cast,” he kept saying!

I could’ve pushed the old man into the lake.

Fiddlesticks

So what was the total catch for the day?

8 bushes, 6 trees, 2 hats, and almost 1 lost reel. Fly-fishing is just a blast.

Truth be told, I actually caught 4 baby trout. By the time I reeled in my first fish, I was so proud I almost cried. After all the work and patience, all the trees and bushes, all the snags and dropped reels, I realized what fly fishing was all about: an amplified sense of accomplishment when anything good happens.

Yes, even if the “Good” is the size of an index finger.

Here is my monster

Why I Hate Fireworks

Last night, sitting on my white plastic chair, watching my tax dollars explode into an abundant array of colors in the sky, all I could really think about was the irony of America’s favorite holiday. How did we get here? How did I get here? How many marshmallows did I really eat?

Let me fill you in.

We have this holiday here in America called Independence Day. It’s usually held on July 4th.  As far as I know, we celebrate it every year.  It’s a day where family members forward each other e-motional e-mails about the hardships of our forefathers. You get them, I get them, nobody reads them. (more…)

Lake Psychology and Death Cab

Today I bought the new Death Cab album, and it got me thinking. Why? Why do I buy music? It’s ridiculous if you think about it.

Not in the “you can steal it for free sense,” I believe that is wrong.

But more so the, “I want to own this because I feel like I should.”

There’s this lake-front house that I like to look at when my wife and I take scooter rides–close to when the sun sets. It’s the most incredible home I’ve ever seen. It has this European-cottage/cabin/castle look to it; big but not enormous.   (more…)