Author: Kevin Carver

Suspension of Disbelief: Hollywood’s Fail on Marriage

Hollywood gets a lot of things right. Especially lately. Films are based in reality more than ever before. Case and point is the latest James Bond film, Skyfall. There were some things, obviously, that required a high suspension of disbelief for sure (surviving the fall off the train, the villain’s plans, etc.). But besides that, I’d say most of Skyfall was grounded in reality. Which besides Casino Royale, had never really happened before in the James Bond franchise.

Argo is another great film set it a realistic world. Sure, it was based on a true story which always helps. But that’s never stopped Hollywood before from changing just about everything to make the story more palpable and interesting. See: Any horror movie “based” on a true accounts. Argo was just real. It felt like you were watching the story as it was truly unfolding. It was grounded in reality.

But with marriage, man, they just don’t get it. I never noticed before I was married, but now every time I see a portrayal of married couple on the “big screen” I just shake my head.

That’s not what it’s like! That’s not what it’s about!

Hollywood writes marriage (and love for that matter) from the individual perspective. “How can I be fulfilled?” “What makes me most happy?” It’s like they’re writing about some unfamiliar foreign concept they’ve read about in books.

So here is my best example. Sure, it’s based on a mid-size indie film you probably haven’t heard of because it wasn’t that successful. It’s the 2011 film Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, starring Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. First off, this movie is just not very good, so take that into account. But I bring it up because of how the story settles. Before I tell you what happens, make sure and read this review quote in the movie poster below. The one about it being a, “feel good charmer.”

(Spoiler) Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

So it’s a romantic movie that tries to bring together Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. The problem is that he is married and she is committed to a soldier (who becomes a POW). At the end of the movie, they finally realize that they are in “love.” So Ewan leaves his wife and Emily leaves the soldier (literally the next day after he returns).

Ummmm, we’re supposed to feel good about this? As an audience member, I’m not sure I want to root for these people.

All they are doing is chasing their lusts and leaving their families. That’s not what marriage is about. It’s not what love is about. True love, marriage, and relationships, it’s about commitment. Long-term. Seeing through the selfishness and getting through to the other side.

This is what Hollywood doesn’t get right and probably never will. I guess that’s ok. As long as the viewer learns to see it for what it is. Fiction.

Unfortunately, the more we see this stuff acted out on the big screen, the more we become desensitized to this childish behavior. We accept it as true and normal.

I’m not saying married people should stop watching movies. I love the movies. I’m a film nerd for sure. What I’m saying is, may be we should be a little cautious of what we have become to accept as normal.

Modern cinema: based in reality, just not in relationships. It’s as if our suspension of disbelief has shifted away from giant explosions and cool gadgets, to what we now call a relationship.

My Top 5 Podcasts

I have one of those iPod Classics. Ancient and useless. Scratch on the screen. You know how it goes. In an attempt to make my Classic more relevant, I found an unused menu button. Enter podcasts.

You may already be on the podcast train, maybe not. I tend to be late on trends. Either way, here are my top 5 favorite podcasts:

This American Life 

I know I’m not alone on this. This American Life is one of the most (if not the most) beloved radio program in the country. If you’re like me, then you probably never gave it a fair shot. This podcast version is a great way to keep updated with the show, and gives you the ability to listen whenever you want.

Like a modern NPR Mr. Rogers, host Ira Glass welcomes you in and takes you on a journey. Some stories fiction; most are not. The segments will make you laugh, others cry, others squeal. What’s most amazing is This American Life’s ability to churn out high level-original storytelling week-after-week, year-after-year.

Planet Money (NPR)

Plant Money is great for any business minded, economically charged person. But if you’re not, it’s still great. My wife could care less about politics and economics but still loves this program. They do a wonderful job of picking interesting stories and tying them to relevant economic themes.

It’s a great tool for someone, like myself, trying to stay informed on the economy, though gets sick of the bias heavy, sensational media coverage. Even if you hate economics, give it a shot!

Thrilling Adventure Hour

You may or may not know about this program. I had no idea it existed till a few months ago. Most of my friends did. Thrilling Adventure Hour is a comedy sketch podcast, filmed live in front of a studio audience and created by Ben Acker and Ben Blacker. Their tag line is: “New time podcasts in the style of old-time radio.”

It can be hit or miss, but stick with it for a couple weeks. You’ll soon be introduced to all of the hilarious, reoccurring characters. Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars, Captain Laserbeam, and my favorite: Frank and Sadie Doyle (starring Paul F. Thompkins).

Relevant Podcast

There’s not much to say about this one. It’s just freakin’ hilarious. It’s from the makers of Relevant Magazine, and regularly has four people you will grow to love. If you’re a twenty to thirty year-old something, slightly spiritual and love to “goof”, then this is probably right up your alley.

Relevant is a religious magazine, but they do a great job at not being lame about it. It’s simply addictive. There’s great music, movie suggestions, and hilarious weekly “slices.” Also a plus are the featured guests, ranging from authors to musicians to Junglebird himself.

Freakonomics Radio

From the people who brought you the book and that awesome documentary, comes Freakonomics Radio. Though it revolves around economics and business markets, I would never define it as a business podcast.

Rather, I would say it’s a thought-engaging conversational starting piece of radio. They “reveal the hidden side of everything.” If you enjoyed the book or the documentary (currently on Netflix), then you will definitely love the podcast.

You may not agree with everything stated or proposed, but that’s not the point. Instead, apply the theories, test them, and come to your own conclusion. After all, that’s what critical thinking is?

Just a note: Usually they rotate their programming. Every other week is a full episode (usually 30 minutes) and in between weeks are five minute segments released originally on NPR’s Marketplace.

Other Notables:

  • The /filmcast-Movies
  • Radiolab-Science, stories
  • Entreleadership-Business, leadership, Dave Ramsey
  • This Is Your Life-Intentional Leadership, Life Advice, Blogging
  • NPR Pop Culture Happy Hour-Exactly what it sounds like
  • Entrepreneurial Though Leaders-Speeches, Business

 

Any suggestions? Let me know your favorites!

26

We traveled to the casino last night—hitting the seafood buffet for my birthday. It was a gift from my grandparents. A lot of kids grow up with families who make dinner and bake cakes. We don’t do that. We go to casino buffets for the crab legs.

My wife had only eaten crab once. I suppose it’s normal for people from Idaho; some things are just different here. Most interesting was her unfamiliarity with the tools. “This one is for cracking,” I explained, “this one for cutting.” She nodded, I spilled the butter.

So the whole table cracked. Shell bits flew everywhere. My brother and I compared crab-meat findings like gold miners compare nuggets: “Look at this one!” I made four trips total.

After dinner, we vagabonded from slot machine to slot machine, searching for the perfect one. I lost; my brother said I wasn’t doing it right. I’m not sure how else you do it. But he claimed whatever it was, I wasn’t doing it right.

Acceptance.

When I talk to people about aging, a lot of them mention acceptance. For instance, one lady told me she didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin until she turned 50. One guy I know said something similar, except it was 30. I’m sure everyone is different. At some point we recognize who we are and become satisfied with the person in the mirror.

I don’t know if I’m there yet. I still feel I have too much to prove and figure out.

What I do know is that my family frequents the seafood buffet. I guess, overall, we’re casino people. You know those cute older ladies that talk out loud to slot machines, that’s my grandma. My grandpa likes the Texas Tea one. My brother has his favorites as well.

I’ve never much liked casinos; except for card playing and roulette. It’s not so much the smoke, but more so the sad weight of desperation that haunts every player’s shoulders. You can almost taste it. Still, if I want to get my grandparents and brother out of the house to spend the evening with, it’s where we end up.

Last night, I’ve never felt more comfortable around the ones that I love. I guess that’s part of that age acceptance thing. My family are casino people. And to be honest, maybe I am too.

Someday I think I’ll feel completely comfortable in my skin. Maybe 27? Until then, at least I am comfortable with my family. Even if they don’t bake cakes and sing me the birthday song. We love each other and express it uniquely. I suppose that’s something I can be comfortable with.

Now That’s What I Call Snow: VOL. 14

Something magical happens when it snows. I’m not talking “disney” magic here; I do understand what happens to moisture when temperature drops. I even attended a physical geography class in college! (my teacher was a local weather-man)

When speaking of magic, I’m not necessarily talking about the beauty of a fresh laid snow either. See, I believe snow heals the human condition. Here are three quick reasons:

1. Snow reminds us of the planet we live on.

Mother Earth tends to lead us on. Like most women, you really couldn’t blame her. I tend to build my world around warm weather: The length of time it takes me to get anywhere, my wardrobe, my weekend plans. And whenever it snows, I’m immediately reminded of a lack of control for pretty much anything (except for of course, my bowel movements).

How does this help the human condition? No matter how much you may or may not want it to snow, it will snow. There is no control. You are reminded of the planet you live on. In another words, we’re grounded in reality. Like being pulled out of a movie by an obnoxious ringtone, the snow reminds us of what is real and what is not real.

And when we remember what is real, we also recognize what is fake. This may read weird, but after a fresh snow I always tend to think about the important things of life. My marriage, my friends, my faith. 

These things remain constant no matter the weather. No matter the season. 

2. Snow Slows Us Down and Sets Our Eyes On the Present

This reason is an easy one. We slow down. We have to! It used to take us 20 minutes to get to work, now it takes 30. I used to be able to jump in the car and go, now I have to warm it up, brush away the snow, and chip off the ice.

Why is this good? We have to think ahead. I know. It kind of sucks sometimes and it takes some getting used to. But I believe this to be a good thing. It sets our eyes on the present. Can I really just jump in the car and go? What is true about reality right now?

Since it’s snowed, I haven’t once texted while driving. I haven’t been following too closely behind any other driver either. Snow forces me to pay attention to the present, similar to how warm weather helps me forget it. I guess it’s all about the balance.

I know, I know. I’ll probably be sick of the snow soon. I’ll be craving a sunny day like a crack-head craves a five-dollar bill. Still…

3. Everyone Looks Better in Scarves

Well, we all know that’s true.

Vote No on Prop Poopstick: Obama or Mr. Burns

The political cycle which gets our president elected is a vicious, deceitful, and economically inefficient one. So on Tuesday I probably wont support it. Here’s some things to think about:

Now before I go on I must clarify that, yes, I will be voting on Tuesday. In national election time it’s easy to pack the term “voting” into “presidential voting”. I’m convincing myself to stop that. So when I say I wont vote for a president, it doesn’t mean I wont vote locally and regionally. So CHILL.

Primary

A few months ago I had a conversation with a nice, older lady who happened to be a Ron Paul evangelist. I remember her telling me “Mitt Romney couldn’t be trusted,” and that he was “no different than Obama.”

Recently, I saw her again and asked about election day and what she would do. I was expecting a lament about the country’s unfair election cycle and invitation to protest.

“Well,” she replied, “Mitt’s better than who we have in there. AND he’s a businessman.” I was shocked. Where was the conviction? What happened to being an evangelist? Can Fox News really sway people that fast?

Finally it hit me; this lady wasn’t intentionally selling out her values, she was just doing what she thought was normal. I guess it makes sense to vote for Romney if you don’t like Obama, but what if you also don’t like Romney? Then it doesn’t make sense. What about a good third option? If we’re to keep in line with the high standards of checks and balances our country is known for, shouldn’t we have a legitimate third choice?

I find the primaries are similar in experience to watching Joe Carnahan’s 2011 thriller The Grey. Characters are introduced only to be eaten alive by wolves.

Money 

I’m not the first to complain about this, I’m sure I wont be the last. The Center For Responsive Politics (non-partisan based) has released a survey stating over $1 billion has been spent on the presidential election so far. That is kind of a lot to spend on T.V. commercials and door hangers.

How about a cap?

As the election draws near, and the ads become more frequent, every commercial, phone call, or door hanger is theoretically more futile than the last. Any entry level marketing class will warn about loosing a message in the noise. Economically speaking, it’s an inefficient way to spend a billion dollars.

These are the people we elect to cut the deficit.

Debt

This brings me to my last and final point. If none of my central concerns are satisfactorily being addressed, such as realistic plans to solve the debt crisis, then why would I still vote? You’re not offering to solve the issues I believe are important. Either of you.

I don’t care about gas prices. I don’t care about binders full of women. Let’s talk about things you can actually effect. Otherwise, if you have no real impact in my life, I have no need to vote for you.

I’m trying not to ramble so I will stop here. What are your reasons for voting/not voting?

Netflix Treasures: Top 6 Halloween Picks

Looking for a good scare this Halloween? Too lazy to put on pants? Time to stay in! Netflix isn’t known for it’s selection, but never fear. If you look hard, there are some great choices.

Here are my six ghoulish picks for your Halloween night in.

The Fog (1980) 

I’m not afraid to admit how much this movie scared the begeebies out of me as a kid. It’s based in a small California coast town with monsters in the fog. So yes, when you grow up in a small California coast town with lots of fog, you tend to hide under your sheets between midnight and 1AM. More like, California “Ghoast” town.

It’s a classic 80’s scary movie. Directed and written by John Carpenter, staring legendary scary-movie actress Jamie Lee Curtis. Cheesy enough to watch with a group for some laughs but scary enough to watch by yourself or with one other.

The X-Files: Bad Blood (Season 5: Ep 12) Bad Blood is an incredibly original stand alone episode co-starring Luke Wilson and Patrick Renna (of The Sandlot fame) and written by Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan. It’s seriously SO good. One of my favorite episodes of all time.

It’s quirky, dark, funny, and scary. Most importantly, you don’t need to be an X-Files nerd to enjoy it. But of course, I’ll always recommend it. It’s also a good change of pace for those sick of tasteless gore and stupid naked girls.

The Twilight Zone: Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (Season 5, Ep 3)

“There is something on the wing… some … THING.” What the Shat is on the wing!?

Thank you William Shatner. Thank you so much. There are so many good lines that just chill your spine, especially when delivered by the Shat himself. “It is real! There’s a man out there! A gremlin…” This episode, amongst a few others, is directed by Richard Donner which could be a reason it has so much staying power.

If all else fails, just throw a season of The Twilight Zone on. “Wouldn’t you at least consider the possibility?”

Scream 2 (1997) 

This sequel doesn’t get nearly enough credit. It has tons of character (and characters!) that really make the movie work. There is great humor and cheesy kill scenes. What more could you ask for (besides Scream 1?). To be fair, Scream is one of my favorite movies. In another words, the sequel may not be as enjoyable to a first time viewer of the franchise.

The final act is also pretty ridiculous and almost ruins the entire movie. The killers chosen could’ve been so much better, especially considering the great group of suspects Wes Craven presents throughout the film. Still a fun watch though.

Psych: Tuesday the 17th (Season 3: Ep 15) 

If you’re not on the Psych train yet, you need to get going. What a great show! This episode is perfect for those desiring more laughs than scares, but still want a Halloween vibe. There are some awesome throwbacks to Friday the 13th, other slasher classics, with a fun “who dunnit?” plot as well.

As if you needed another reason to watch Psych?

Sherlock: The Hounds of Baskerville (Season 2: Ep 2)

So we’ve covered ghosts, serial killers, and vampires. Why not leave the werewolves to Sherlock? You may have already seen this, as it is one of the best shows on TV, but it’s definitely worth a re-watch on Halloween.

I won’t say much more about the plot, as shows like this are best knowing next to nothing going in. But man, it’s spooky. If you haven’t seen this show yet, it’s worth investing your time on both seasons. The scariest thing? Season 3 is still a full year away.