Winter, More Like Looster

It won’t stop, guys. It just keeps coming. And coming. And falling. And chilling the bones. My blood is warm, but barely. When the day begins, I kiss my wife goodbye as she leaves for work, and I kiss her hard knowing either one of us may be later found frozen in a parking-lot ice-block.

My friend asked me, the one who Skypes from the West, how the weather has been. My answer lasted for ten minutes, and it sounded like this:

“Every week there’s this new storm. It sounds great because storms only last for two or so days. So you think, hey, alright! We just have to make it through this storm. And then, there’s another storm. Another freak wind tunnel. Another polar vortex. And you start thinking, why the Hell are we doing this to ourselves?”

My friend’s eyes wide, I decided to cool off: “How have you been?” (more…)


Now That’s What I Call Snow: VOL. 14

Something magical happens when it snows. I’m not talking “disney” magic here; I do understand what happens to moisture when temperature drops. I even attended a physical geography class in college! (my teacher was a local weather-man)

When speaking of magic, I’m not necessarily talking about the beauty of a fresh laid snow either. See, I believe snow heals the human condition. Here are three quick reasons:

1. Snow reminds us of the planet we live on.

Mother Earth tends to lead us on. Like most women, you really couldn’t blame her. I tend to build my world around warm weather: The length of time it takes me to get anywhere, my wardrobe, my weekend plans. And whenever it snows, I’m immediately reminded of a lack of control for pretty much anything (except for of course, my bowel movements).

How does this help the human condition? No matter how much you may or may not want it to snow, it will snow. There is no control. You are reminded of the planet you live on. In another words, we’re grounded in reality. Like being pulled out of a movie by an obnoxious ringtone, the snow reminds us of what is real and what is not real.

And when we remember what is real, we also recognize what is fake. This may read weird, but after a fresh snow I always tend to think about the important things of life. My marriage, my friends, my faith. 

These things remain constant no matter the weather. No matter the season. 

2. Snow Slows Us Down and Sets Our Eyes On the Present

This reason is an easy one. We slow down. We have to! It used to take us 20 minutes to get to work, now it takes 30. I used to be able to jump in the car and go, now I have to warm it up, brush away the snow, and chip off the ice.

Why is this good? We have to think ahead. I know. It kind of sucks sometimes and it takes some getting used to. But I believe this to be a good thing. It sets our eyes on the present. Can I really just jump in the car and go? What is true about reality right now?

Since it’s snowed, I haven’t once texted while driving. I haven’t been following too closely behind any other driver either. Snow forces me to pay attention to the present, similar to how warm weather helps me forget it. I guess it’s all about the balance.

I know, I know. I’ll probably be sick of the snow soon. I’ll be craving a sunny day like a crack-head craves a five-dollar bill. Still…

3. Everyone Looks Better in Scarves

Well, we all know that’s true.

Giving Shanks

My List of things I’m not thankful for. I call it “Giving Shanks.” What are yours?

1. I always wanted to live somewhere “snowy.” I didn’t know I was signing up to live in a Dairy Queen Blizzard. I think the last two days were worse than last winter altogether. The last thing my face needed was an excuse to be redder than it usually is. (more…)