Author: Kevin Carver

God Has Never Been to Rochester

“God has never been to Rochester,” said my friend, David. Him and his wife laughed in solidarity; I offered a nervous snicker.

Back in June, Megan and I flew over to search for apartments—at that point, the only people we knew on this side of the continent were these two people who have since left the area due to finishing school; border-lined waifs, we now know no one.

“God has never been to Rochester,” he said. The comment stuck. Sure, he was joking, but it stuck.

Where the hell am I moving to? Where am I taking my wife? These thoughts, until recently even, erupted from the shadows and followed me as such.

I remember driving around, on that same trip, witnessing a worn-down and bruised city. A town, much like Detroit, whose rarefied Kodak Towers have since fallen into the dreck, pulling almost everyone else with it.

Has God ever been to Rochester?

The Answer (It’s Yes)

In the four-ish days we’ve been here, the weather has alternated more than I can keep track: humid, rainy-as-Hell (umbrellas are a must), thunder and lightning, sunny-sky-beautiful.

Right now, it’s nice. The sun is out, a few clouds giving shade.

We attended a church today. YES, I know. Mr. Anti-Church went to church. So sue me (please don’t sue me). It was a Grace PCA church, recommended by Tony from A Way With Words—our only known soul on the East—and it was lovely. The people were wonderful, warm, and genuine.

I even liked the pastor. In our few minutes of conversation, I withheld my personal opinions about how he should find a different job.

Him and his wife were incredibly nice, as was everyone we met, and I think we’re going to go back.

Why am I telling you this? Isn’t it a bit hypocritical to write about changing the modern church, only to dive into its arms first thing?

I suppose you’ve got a point.

Rochester, NY, Baby

My initial worries of the area have since fallen away; I’m falling in love with Rochester. So far, it’s a great town with great people. We live in an area called East Ave (near/or Park Ave). It’s absolutely gorgeous. We ordered pizza the other night, and I almost couldn’t stop eating it.

Does the town still have its issues? Does it still scare me? Does driving here make absolutely no sense? Yes, but I love Rochester’s potential; I love its heart, and every day feels a little bit more like home.

Rochester_Fotor

If you’d be willing: 

Continued prayer for friends, jobs, closeness to God, church issues, and cheap furniture.

Your thoughts?

Brave New World: Days 3 & 4

10 states, 36 driving hours, and upwards of $40 of toll-road fees later… WE MADE IT TO ROCHESTER!!! There was no better feeling than the one we experienced early Wednesday afternoon. Yes, we were tired. Yes, the car smelled weird. Yes, I’m convinced if I had to take one more rotation of driving I would’ve revolted with vomiting and God knows what else.

But we made it.

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Illinois (to be even more annoying) had no welcome sign due to road construction.

Truth be told, we had fun. The road trip, though troubling and challenging at times, has given me memories and experiences I will cherish my whole life. My wife has an incredible person to travel with; I’m spoiled to have her.

I’ve already written an update in the form of “Brave New World: Days 1 & 2.” Here’s a recent batch of lessons I’ve learned from the road.

1. Toll roads. Holy geez. If you’re driving through Illinois (ill-annoys, as I’m calling it), Indiana (indy-and-I’ll-take-your-money), or Ohio (nothing clever, sorry), be prepared to have cash. Better yet, get one of those I-Pass or EZPass things. It’s cheaper and faster, apparently. Well, that’s what the sign said every other quarter-of-a-mile.

2. 30 Rock didn’t lie; Cleveland is incredible. Megan and I were both very impressed—despite our grumblings from having to pay to exit the freeway, stupid tolls—in the Ohio big city. It was clean, friendly, and safe. We passed two Irish themed restaurants (ate at one of them) and saw a couple other buildings offering corned-beef year-round. I could live there.

3. It’s hard to relax after a long drive, especially when your new apartment has no furniture. Yes, we were thrilled to be “home.” Unfortunately, “home” has no “furniture.” It is beautiful though. Check it out! (We have just an apartment, not the whole house).

photoAny readers with Upstate New York experience who have a little advice to give? Restaurants? Jobs? Furniture? … Furniture???

Brave New World: Days 1 & 2

We’re two days into the four day trek across the continental United States. Right now, I’m writing from Madison, Wisconsin. The hotel window has an intriguing view of a store called “Menards,” which I’ve put together is a hardware store.

My last blog (about traveling, not my usual self-righteous religious ramblings) was “Breaking Sad“—a post that explored the up and down emotions of leaving everyone you know and love behind. As a quick update, I have to say that once Megan and I hit the road our outlook changed.

I’m excited. We’re both excited. FINALLY, right? Rochester, New York for goodness sakes! (And I never even say “goodness sakes”). I’ve been fantasizing about moving to the East my entire life. Yes, the West Coast is the “best coast;” it’s beautiful and has always treated me fair, but I’m an explorer at heart and the experience of the unknown is a need I crave.

I’m back on the road, with the lady I love, exploring a brave new world. Best yet, it feels wonderful. Glad to be back!

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Every road trip has its lessons. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. South Dakota is a state full of road-side attractions. You’ll never see them all, and unless you have a week to spend in SD, choose wisely. To give you an idea, we passed up Mt. Rushmore, an 1880 town, a Corn Palace, and some auto-museum with the “Real General Lee.” What did we do in South Dakota? The Wall Drug Store! Duh.

2. We traveled through one of the largest gatherings of motorcycle enthusiasts in the US. Since our car was “loaded to the gills” (as my brother would say) and all my blind spots were magnified, my stress level was a little higher than usual. What’s the lesson here? Always Google your stopping points before you go! We could’ve traveled through North Dakota and missed the leather gang completely.

3. No matter who you are and who you are with, you’ll eventually run out of things to talk about. Megan found a great app that gives endless “conversation starters.” WARNING: They don’t always work.

4. Most of the I90, east of South Dakota, is corn. You think you’ve seen corn before? YOU HAVEN’T!!! Corn for miles, for days!!! Americans love and use of corn is both sickening and impressive.

5. Speaking of corn. If you stop at a gas station and see a grade labeled “E-85,” don’t assume it’s the normal low-grade. It’s 70% Ethanol and is not for every car! Good news, I only put in a half tank.

Wall Drug Store, Wall, South Dakota. So awesome.

Wall Drug Store, Wall, South Dakota. So awesome.

Cleveland is the next stop! Any good tips for the city out there? We’re looking for a great local place to eat and maybe somewhere to explore. The Rock N’Roll Hall of Fame was going to be the main stop, but it’s a little pricy and who cares about the Rolling Stones?

Follow Up: The Judas Argument

A few weeks back I wrote a blog called “Professional Christians (and Other Oxymorons).” In short, I shared my distaste of paid salaries and wasteful spending—in my opinion, one in the same—in the modern church.

I’ve also since written a response to the responses of that post called, “A Thick Skinned Grin: My Reply to Your Response.”

As promised, I wanted to write a follow-up to a specific comment that came in. Anna from http://cannopener.wordpress.com/ (an awesome blog) wrote a comment on “Professional Christians…”, regarding what I deemed unnecessary and poor spending, that has since stuck with me.

Just a little question. Wasn’t it Judas who said “this [expensive perfume poured out in worship of Jesus] should have been sold and the money given to the poor”?

JudASS

This isn’t the first time I’ve come across this argument. The church spends a $1000 on a new drum cage; I say the money should be spent on more substantial purposes like the poor or sex-trafficking awareness (or maybe even… I don’t know… drum lessons so the drummers can learn volume control, a basic skill most educated drummers have).

What happens? Someone always says, “What about Judas and the perfume?” And another, “Remember when Jesus said, ‘the poor will always be with you’?” For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, go read the Gospels. I believe this story is mentioned, oddly enough, in each Gospel account.

In the story, a woman, Mary, anoints Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume. As Jesus points out, she is preparing him for burial and doing “a beautiful thing,” despite the grumblings of Judas and maybe other disciples.

This act is definitely a beautiful thing, and one of the most sentimental in all of scripture.

But here’s the deal: we can’t excuse the church’s poor spending habits by taking Jesus stories out of context, the perfume story especially.

My Quick Three-Point Rebuttal

1. Not every Jesus story can, or should, be flipped and turned to fit our modern times to solve our modern problems. The perfume story, I believe, falls into this category (this statement, of course, is worth arguing in better detail). To me, the perfume story speaks of the disciples’ sadness and confusion, as well as the humanity of Jesus, NOT an open door to spend money as we please. Jesus was to soon be tortured, executed, and buried. At that moment in time there was no better use of that or any perfume.

2. The Gospel of John states that Judas desired the money for himself because he was a thief. This was hardly my intention.

3. Jesus is not here any more. Not in the flesh, at least. Spending money on giant buildings with top notch gear and a full salaried staff (flying to conferences) is NOT synonymous with pouring perfume on Jesus’ feet. Our consumerism driven church is often wasteful and greedy—in light of the troubles of the world—and represents Mammon more than Christ.

mary-and-jesus-feet

This is my rebuttal. It may need some tweaking. I’m leaving soon for a cross-country road trip to Upstate New York, and I thought it’d be best to respond before this issue got too far away from me.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter! What’s your take on the perfume story? Does it excuse all church spending?

Breaking Sad

I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions lately. This moving across country thing, ya know? I’ve been all over the place. Like a good episode of Breaking Bad, I start content but end my day sweaty and angry.

All the packing and repacking and selling and goodbye parties and hugs. After awhile—no matter how much you want to go, now matter how easy it’s been to leave in the past—moving across country, away from everyone you know and love, just sucks. And I’ve been feeling it.

The other day, I nearly broke down in tears after hearing the main theme song from Home Alone 2 in a local toy shop.

HE GAVE THE TURTLE DOVE TO THE PIGEON LADY!!!

Saved by the Bail

We’ve been selling stuff, as mentioned, on Craigslist. The selection is getting thinner which is good. We’re down to the big ticket items like guitar amps and record players. These need to sell, NEED to sell. If they do then we can afford hotel rooms on the way to Rochester. If not, we’ll buy drugs and drive straight through. Well, no.

Craigslist has been affecting my emotional state more than I probably realize.

Every time a potential buyer bails on me (which is often, thank you Craigslist community), I shrug my shoulders; on the inside, though, I’m screaming, “DON”T THEY KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS?”

“I hate you,” is a text message I also fantasize about sending.

They’re not all bad though. Yesterday, we met a guy at outside a Cabelas to sell an old motorcycle (uhem… moped) helmet. This guy’s head, and that helmet? Match made in Heaven. He looked stout. I could’ve hugged him.

It seemed best to let the stranger leave without a warm embrace.

As he left, I noticed the last link to my scooter was gone. I’ve never talked about my scooter on here before, but let me tell you, I loved it. The scoot was a beast. The Lance Venice, my Lance Venice. 150ccs of pure power. Silver color, 2007 model. 0 to 60 in… well it never quite got to 60, but you get the point. I sold it last year, and God I miss that thing.

I sat there in the parking lot, drunk with emotion, caught between the misery of selling my scooter and the beauty of that stranger’s head wearing my helmet.

Not-so Sweet Emotions

You see what I mean? All these emotions. What’s going on here? This isn’t normal. I’ve been so damn emotional lately! Is this, maybe, the softer side of Kevin, breaking, bursting through the surface like Free Willy?

I’d argue and say that I’ve always had a softer side, in the movies especially. Play me the end of Homeward Bound and I’ll cry my way into puddles. “SHADOW!!!”

Maybe moving across country is just hard. Maybe it was never meant to be easy. Maybe I’m referencing old 90’s movies because I’m afraid of getting older and, right now, looking to the past is easier. Maybe I should’ve talked about my scooter sooner…

Maybe, I’m just breaking sad.

Scooter_Fotor

What’s your response? Any advice? How about a good Craigslist story?

Media-thon Monday (5)

I haven’t been doing these Media-thons as much as I’d like to. Sorry. The wife and I have been laboriously preparing for our move to Rochester, spending time in North Idaho’s lake water, and/or trying to sell my guitar amp on Craigslist.

So sue me. (Please don’t sue me).

Here it is! Your fifth installment of Media-thon Monday:

picstitch

Pacific Rim

I know this mention is a little late (and enough has probably been said about how great this movie is), but if you haven’t seen it yet then please go see it. Pacific Rim is wonderful.

If you’re like me, then the previews looked dumb to you too. Transformers meets Battleship. No thanks.

Admitting I’m wrong is not the easiest thing for me to do. So instead, I’m blaming the advertising.

Go see it! Pacific Rim is refreshingly original—as in, not based on an 80’s movie, comic book, or board game—has heart, tremendous acting and casting, as well as giant and effective action sequences that should fire Michael Bay from any current or future film project.

The film is not without its faults, but after Man of Steel (which I hated), Pacific Rim wins my award for best Summer blockbuster.

pacific-rim-poster-banner

Risky Business

I played my first game of Risk last night. I’m not sure how I got through nearly 27 years of life without playing it. I just don’t. Risk is a wonderful game of patience and strategy. During the game, my friend Tyler showed me a video that I thought was pretty great. If you’ve never played the game then it might not make much sense.

Or maybe it will. Risk it.

Why Millennials are Leaving the Church

If you follow Rachel Held Evans (here’s a blog I wrote after I saw her speak) then you have undoubtedly already seen this wonderful essay she wrote for the CNN Belief Blog. As usual, she hit the nail on the head. I relate to just about everything she said. I hope I can someday capture people in my writings the way she does.

Any way, check out the short essay here: Why Millennials are Leaving the Church

Stephen King & The First Line of a Book

I’ve been reading tons of the King lately. He’s a master story teller. What I’ve come to appreciate is how efficient he is at crafting unique characters. Just this morning, I came across a great interview he recently conducted with The Atlantic about the “voice” of his characters.

In it, he also talks about the time he spends crafting—working and re-working—the first sentence of his books. Whether you’re a fan of his or not, it’s worth checking out. I found it to be a super interesting read.

Why Stephen King spends ‘Months and Even Years’ Writing Opening Sentences

Did you see Pacific Rim? What did you think? Check out the last installment of Media-thon Monday here.