Marriage

Baseball for Beginners #KillMeNow

Batting average. ERA. RBI. Sacrifice hits. On base percentage. Good Lord. I never knew the game of baseball required so many prerequisites.

I haven’t been watching baseball very long, if you couldn’t tell. About this time, every year, I find myself jonsing for a good team to root for (the short NFL season always burns me). So, why not baseball? It’s worth a shot, I suppose.

Like any good tale, I needed a hero—a team, something, someone, to root for.

Since I’m moving away this summer, I’ve decided to pass on any California team in favor of my future home state—New York. I’d love to be able to go to a game or two. My friends, the ones who watch baseball, they threatened to disown me if I became a Yankees fan. This left me the Mets.

So, now I’m a Mets fan. (At 22-29, I’m wondering what I signed myself up for).

ExSPECTATON

The Philadelphia game I watched was so slow, TV commentators discussed their favorite restaurants in town instead of calling the game. Consequently, I now know more about diners in Philadelphia than I do baseball.

It’s been a great season for the young Mets pitcher, Matt Harvey. I think… Everyone seems to talk about how good he is. “They” even say he is undefeated. It seems, if the Mets keep losing, then obviously, he can’t be; apparently, I’m missing something here. (I’ve since found out why).

Spectating seemed easy at first: a pitcher, a batter, some bases. Home runs are good. But no. Oh no. There’s more. Much, much more.

Here’s a couple quotes from “How Baseball Works,” to give you an idea of what I mean.

“A sacrifice does not count as an at bat, but the hitter may be “credited” with an RBI (so a hitter can be credited with a sacrifice and an RBI, but has no base hit and no at bat recorded.”

I see…

 “On Base Percentage is similar to batting average but includes appearances which led to walks and times a hitter was hit by a pitch. It is calculated by adding Base Hits, Bases on Balls and Hit by Pitches, and dividing by the sum of At Bats, Bases on Balls, Hit by Pitches and Sacrifices.“

Ummmm…

These stats and rules, they just keep going and going. I’m the type to want to understand what I watch, so it’s been a little overwhelming. This is what I’ve got: home runs, as we’ve discussed, are good, .300 is a good batting average, the lower ERA the better—though I still don’t completely get ERA.

My preliminary understanding, though quite small, has already given me a much more enjoyable watching experience, I must admit. It can only get better from here, right?

The Curve

The crazy stats, the info, the rules, it’s caused me to wonder something. Is baseball so boring that we created stats just to give spectators something to do in the stands? (Or the commentators something to talk about?)

Don’t get me wrong, baseball has been growing on me. I actually quite like it. As of this writing, the Mets have won 5 in a row, including 4 straight against the Yankees. So that’s nice. Could this be the start of something big?

Also, I’ve decided to start my own baseball stat. It’s called, WOB. (Wife on Board). How many games will I get my wife to watch? Here’s the math: Innings watched divided by games, multiplied by watchable games divided by wins/loss record. It’s currently zero.

Oh well, there’s always next year.

Any tips for a beginning baseball spectator?

Adulthood: Embracing the Now & Forgetting the Why

One can’t help but get a little older. Wives are good for nothing if not for telling you how old you are. Megan reminds me of this all the time: “You’re two years older.”

“And wiser,” I respond.

Despite the rabid pace at which youth escapes my body, I expect some of the mannerisms and routines that accompanied my early years will always be with me.

The sample tables at Costco are primary. Shopping is second… at best. There’s others like me, too. Yesterday, I ran into the same sample shopper at every table. We nodded.

My attention span is weak, like coffee from the church foyer weak. At any given time, I’m usually half present and I apologize for this; I’m trying, really. This will probably be a lifelong struggle. Bare with me.

I say weird things at awkward moments. That is, the moment is fine until I make it awkward. Once, I worked at a hotel and checked in a guest. During the silence I asked if he met any ladies on his trip. He was a priest and promptly said, “no.”

You see what I mean. I’m sure you do weird things too. I know you do. The crazy little brain movements and body patterns are just part of the human experience. You probably rant in the bathroom with strange accents or something. I can only guess.

We are all just grown up kids. (No one has refuted me yet!) As adults we can choose when we want to be a child, that’s the coolest part. I mean, haven’t you seen Hook? (You’re doing it, Peter!)

normal_hookpt2205

As we get older, we pretend this stuff doesn’t exist. The weird mannerisms. The strange facial expressions. The awkward moments. After all, we’re adults now and there’s bills to pay. We have kids and jobs and degrees. There’s no time to be ourselves anymore.

Don’t Start Eating Boogers Yet

It’s okay to have responsibilities; in fact, I rather like them. There’s men and women who meet the challenge of adulthood at every turn and I respect them.

I learned responsibilities from an early age; most older people around me were too busy beings kids so I had to step it up in their absence. Sometimes people never grow up, because of them I now struggle with letting my hair down on the weekends, or being myself.

I’m convinced, though, that every now and then we need to embrace the child within. We need to be ourselves. Not revert back, but just be ourselves. We need to allow who we are to shine and forget about the future for a change.

We need to embrace God’s greatest present—the present.

I’m sure we could all use a little more of that.

Road Trip

This weekend, Megan and I decided to be irresponsible. With two days notice, and a very inspiring episode of Parks and Rec to motivate us, we’ve decided to visit the Grand Canyon on a whim.

We have little money, a car that’s traveled too much this year already, and a severe lack of camping material; needless to say, we’re excited. My good friend Randall, who you may remember from Salmon Creek Trail, will be joining us.

It’s Friday. Go do something fun this weekend. Enjoy the present! Embrace the kid within you and report back to me. You may find adulthood to be a little more interesting when you do.

What are your thoughts on God’s gift of the present? Is it dangerous to focus too much on the past or the future? Any good stories of embracing the kid within? How about Grand Canyon advice? 

Congrats Engagement Dos Amigos

Today, a good friend of mine became engaged. Well, yesterday, I think; he lives in Australia so who really knows? No body knows.

Anyways, it made me think about a lot of things. Like how awesome it was to feel engaged. To be completely wrapped up in enchantment, bewilderment, and in the unknown. There is simply nothing like it.

There’s nothing like looking at a woman who is wearing your ring and swearing to her something beyond your means, something that only God could accomplish between any two people… I’ll be with you until either you kill me, I kill you, or we both die. 

What made it truly special, is that she promised the same for me.

So I saw the Facebook post, I smiled and told Megan. Then I looked at her, sick in bed, and again, I smiled. Marriage is awesome.

It’s a team effort for sure. And if you remember team, then in fact, you’ll be fine. But honestly, it’s more work than anyone ever tells you. How could they?

See, everyday you have to make someone more important than yourself. It sounds easy, but it truly isn’t. People say you have to work on marriage, this part is the work. You have to be selfless from when the sun rises to when it sets. (Also in between, but you get the metaphor). I’m not as good at it as she is, but I’m getting there anyways.

I realized that I needed Megan, like in every way. She’s the other half. She’s the dough, I’m the sauce. She’s the window, I’m the frame. She’s the football, I’m Peyton Manning.

Hold on, I have a couple more: 

She’s the bean burger, I’m the pickle. She’s the grinder, I’m the coffee bean. Ok, ok, I think this is getting weird.

Well, anyways, Justin and Krysta, I’m not sure if you’ll get around to reading this (I remember being swarmed with phone calls and emails after we announced our engagement), but if you do, we are so excited for you two and wanted you both to know that we love you.

Remember to pray for each other, to listen, and to share.

Also, the man is always right.

IMG_0310Just kidding.

 

Gum Butt: The True Story of a Stuck Butt

So we’re in the car. Driving. I think at this point, it had been sixteen hours. Only two hours left and we were home. Or New home. Whatever.

We’re at that point where nothing is funny, nothing is interesting, everything is nothing. We just want out. Get us out of this car. It smells, we smell, I just ate Taco Bell…

Two hours and then it’s over. We’re out of the car for good.

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So my feet are on the dash and Megan’s driving. My back is completely slump with my butt barely on the edge of the seat. I realize, after 20 minutes of sitting like this, how extremely uncomfortable I am. We can’t exactly just push the seats back considering how we packed the car (as much stuff as anyone could possibly fit in a Prius).

So I stretch and begin to move up. For the sake of my back, I desperately need to sit up straight.

When I attempt to sit up, my butt… it… it just won’t move. I’m caught. Like I can pull up a little, no man, game over. It’s stuck.

My first thought is: ok, my keys are stuck to the seat. Trying not to be obvious, I lift my butt as much as I can muster and check my pockets. But no, there are no keys in my pockets. What am I thinking?  

Megan still hasn’t noticed. I’d prefer to keep it this way. It’s not embarrassing, I just don’t want her to know. As a husband I’m expected to protect her, support her, be her knight in shining armer sort of thing. Currently, my butt is stuck to the seat of the car and I don’t know how or why. 

And then, right before I start to panic, I figure it out. In a complete moment of stupidity, I bow my head and start laughing.

Megan looks over and asks about it. There’s no choice, I have to come clean.

“Remember that wad of gum I threw out of the window a couple hours ago?” I ask. She nods her head, “Well, it didn’t exactly… make it out the window.”

“Where is it?” She asks, with a smile, mine giving something away.

I’m trying to find the words, proper words that make me still feel like a man, but all I come up with is: “Under my butt… my butt is stuck to the seat.”

A brief moment of silence passes. She bursts into laughter. I burst into laughter.

I grab the ice scraper for the windshield and began to free myself. There’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach, or butt maybe, that I will probably hear about this for the rest of my life.

picstitch

Suspension of Disbelief: Hollywood’s Fail on Marriage

Hollywood gets a lot of things right. Especially lately. Films are based in reality more than ever before. Case and point is the latest James Bond film, Skyfall. There were some things, obviously, that required a high suspension of disbelief for sure (surviving the fall off the train, the villain’s plans, etc.). But besides that, I’d say most of Skyfall was grounded in reality. Which besides Casino Royale, had never really happened before in the James Bond franchise.

Argo is another great film set it a realistic world. Sure, it was based on a true story which always helps. But that’s never stopped Hollywood before from changing just about everything to make the story more palpable and interesting. See: Any horror movie “based” on a true accounts. Argo was just real. It felt like you were watching the story as it was truly unfolding. It was grounded in reality.

But with marriage, man, they just don’t get it. I never noticed before I was married, but now every time I see a portrayal of married couple on the “big screen” I just shake my head.

That’s not what it’s like! That’s not what it’s about!

Hollywood writes marriage (and love for that matter) from the individual perspective. “How can I be fulfilled?” “What makes me most happy?” It’s like they’re writing about some unfamiliar foreign concept they’ve read about in books.

So here is my best example. Sure, it’s based on a mid-size indie film you probably haven’t heard of because it wasn’t that successful. It’s the 2011 film Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, starring Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. First off, this movie is just not very good, so take that into account. But I bring it up because of how the story settles. Before I tell you what happens, make sure and read this review quote in the movie poster below. The one about it being a, “feel good charmer.”

(Spoiler) Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

So it’s a romantic movie that tries to bring together Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. The problem is that he is married and she is committed to a soldier (who becomes a POW). At the end of the movie, they finally realize that they are in “love.” So Ewan leaves his wife and Emily leaves the soldier (literally the next day after he returns).

Ummmm, we’re supposed to feel good about this? As an audience member, I’m not sure I want to root for these people.

All they are doing is chasing their lusts and leaving their families. That’s not what marriage is about. It’s not what love is about. True love, marriage, and relationships, it’s about commitment. Long-term. Seeing through the selfishness and getting through to the other side.

This is what Hollywood doesn’t get right and probably never will. I guess that’s ok. As long as the viewer learns to see it for what it is. Fiction.

Unfortunately, the more we see this stuff acted out on the big screen, the more we become desensitized to this childish behavior. We accept it as true and normal.

I’m not saying married people should stop watching movies. I love the movies. I’m a film nerd for sure. What I’m saying is, may be we should be a little cautious of what we have become to accept as normal.

Modern cinema: based in reality, just not in relationships. It’s as if our suspension of disbelief has shifted away from giant explosions and cool gadgets, to what we now call a relationship.

One Year Thingamagoo

Well I thought I’d take a break from our luxurious vacation and blog a little bit about the whole one year anniversary thingamagoo.

I don’t really have too much to say, other than that being married is an awesome, fulfilling, and challenging adventure. Although it may sound cliche, it is true that marriage isn’t always easy. Especially when your spouse isn’t as perfect as you. Ha ha, no but seriously… (more…)