Final Semester Eve: A Terrified Toast to the Known Unknown

I remember finishing high school PE. That final time ever, you know? A 10th grader at Arroyo Grande High School, CA—sitting on a bench in a quiet locker room, closing my locker for the last time, holding my gross (unwashed) blue and gold garments in a bunch, thinking, Wow, this is the last time I’ll ever change back into my regular clothes after a PE course in high school.

Sentimental, I know.

But it was a big deal to me, back then. To be honest, I don’t even know why. I hated PE.

It was gross and awful.

In high school, once you learn the guitar, exercising becomes pointless.

Anyway, there I was. Just sitting there. Staring at my clothes. “Momentous,” I mouthed.

I did the same thing when the last episode of LOST arrived. Before the episode even aired, I became melancholic. Like, “Wow, this is the last time I’ll ever be disappointed by LOST.”

You get the idea.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I start my final undergraduate semester at the University of Rochester. It should be one of those momentous moments, you know. But I don’t think it will be.

Something’s different.

Maybe I’m just getting older and wiser. Or colder. I’m still terrified, certainly. Terrified about everything that’s coming. But ephemeral moments of sadness about things coming to an end. I don’t know. Just not my thing anymore.

Finishing college, for instance, it won’t grab me like other finishing moments have. That’s my prediction, at least. School, to me, is and has been nothing more than an incredible inconvenience. I’ve appreciated the experience, sure, but it’s time to move on. I’m 28, I’m working already, I’m proving myself to the (real) world every single day.

For instance, here’s my crazy, crowded schedule, with everything touching on my plate:

  • PR for a local medical device company
  • Freelance blogging and writing
  • Self-teaching programming and coding
  • Interning at High Tech Rochester
  • 20 hours a week at a local non-profit
  • Massive resume distributing for job hunt (i.e., job epiclations)

Sometimes, life feels like this: 

Risky

So now, I get to mix in a spring semester. Like a boss. Or, a student. A student boss.

Still

Last semester at college! Kind of a big deal, right? Uh oh, here I go. Getting sad. GETTING SADDER. STARING AT STUFF. And with everything that looms forward: new career, new networking from scratch, new cross-country move (hopefully) to a geographical area that doesn’t burn your face with coldness, new… new..

Nope. I’m forcing it. It’s not working. I don’t think it will happen.

Really, I’d like to sit on a bench and mope, I just don’t have the time.

Shed a tear for me, world, will you? One last semester. One last, who knows what.

Here’s to full plates and frantic footsteps! Into the known unknown. Moving forward.

Always forward.

Song of the Week

Random Picture of the Week

  • Me at Magic Hat Brewing Co., Vermont (2014)
Magic Hat Brewery

Magic Hat Brewery

Thanks for reading!

Any advice is well received.

Default picture [https://www.flickr.com/photos/clement127/12368456134/]

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