The following is a short creative writing project for one of my English classes. The directions were to write a first-person narrative of someone descending into madness.

I Will Find Her

Today I will find the truth to where she is hidden. That beautiful diamond, that glorious beacon of hope, that wretched chameleon of comfort who was once mine. In distress I seek for her. From a safe distance, she watches, she laughs in my misery. Through the narrow door of luck, she escapes my clutches again, and yet still more… again.

Tonight, tonight her discovery will be made. I will find her. And if not, if the eve is ended with defeat once more, then the plague of her memory will continue to reside incessantly in my brain.  And the search will become a hunt, no a crusade! I will find what was once mine; I will find what belongs to me.  

And all those who stand in my way, you clones, you deceivers, all will perish. The false glimpse of hope that you offer, you must know it gathers only pain? My consciousness awakens to your deception, and fury fills my loins. But still you protect her? Is your life worth more than hers, o you wretched clones? Leave me be!

Harm is not in my nature; it is her that I’m after. Even now I can feel her. I remember her touch, the way she’d light up in my hands.  Though it may sound pagan to foreign ears, I know she exists for no other reason than for my satisfaction. Sometimes… I wonder who really controls whom.

Yet she has vanished. She has grown legs and ventured beyond where my eyes can find. She is at one with the universe from which she is named. My beautiful dependence, where did you go? My beautiful comfort, please send word. My beautiful remote control, you are mine, and I will find you.