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That One Time I Married Special Agent Dana Scully

My favorite X-File comes from Season 10. It’s called “Marriage.” In this freaky episode, two harmless citizens dedicate the rest of their lives to each other until they die. The man and woman follow one another all across the world, leaving friends and family behind, and even if they aren’t always happy, they stick together and see through it. Quickly dispatched are Agents Mulder and Scully who investigate this unexplained phenomena.

Scully, the scientist, suggests brain trauma. Mulder, the dreamer, hypothesizes anew.

MULDER: What if they’re in love, Scully?

SCULLY: In love?

MULDER: Ancient Irish folklore suggests the idea of ‘love’ as early…

I Want to Believe

I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I’m a huge X-Files fan. Right? That little outdated show from the ‘90s is my TV bread and butter. It’s on Netflix now, which means I get to drag my wife through the entire series.

The X-Files means a lot to me. It’s the salient reason I ever started writing. As a child, I loved the idea of exploring different pockets of the country and each week discovering a different monster. Pushing boundaries and all. I began writing short stories in elementary school because of it.

My wife, she’s an awesome wife, got me a book for my birthday called The Philosophy of The X-Files. Nerdy? A little. You know your wife loves you when she encourages you to nerd-out.

I’m 50 pages in, or so. And it’s wonderful. However, something occurred to me while reading. I should’ve seen it before but didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t. And it’s all so clear now.

Some guys marry their moms, their sisters. I married Special Agent Dana Scully.

Hear Me Out

I can only assume you haven’t watched The X-files in some time (and if you haven’t watched it at all, then you have some work to do, friend), here’s a quick recap:

SIDE NOTE: Seasons 4 & 5 are the best two complete Network TV seasons of all time. Hands down, no argue. Need a push? Vince Gilligan of Breaking Bad is a head writer and producer.

Mulder is the guy. He’s on a quest, a crusade of sorts to find “the truth.” He works in the FBI basement and is assigned to all the spooky cases. Scully is the girl. She’s assigned to debunk Mulder by applying science and rationalism to his work.

As the world found out—and, well, me after I married—the two world views merge quite well. I’m very much Mulder-like. I’m a dreamer. I think outside the box. I eat sunflower seeds. Sometimes, my “big-ideas” don’t make any sense, and I find myself in a hole, and I need help to get out.

My wife is very much like Scully. Scully is kind of hot. I don’t mind saying it. Get through the big hair and should-pads era (seasons 1-3), and you’ll see what I mean. My wife is totally hot too, so there’s your first connection.

But it’s deeper than that.

Megan keeps me grounded, yet she’s brave enough for adventure. She applies logic to my far fetched ideas, but has a few ideas of her own. She challenges me with alternate views and counter arguments, yet I’m almost always eventually right.

(That last point might not be totally correct.)

My wife is very much her own person, and I love her for many reasons outside of The X-Files. It’s just neat to be able to relate to a television show so well, especially a favorite show—the way many parents probably relate to Parenthood, for instance; or mobsters to The Sopranos.

Out There

I will end this paranormal, spooky love-note with a quote from Fight the Future, the first X-files movie. I think it sums up, quite well, my comparison. And yes, I understand how ridiculously cheesy all this is. No need to mention it. :)

MULDER (to Scully): But you saved me! As difficult and as frustrating as its been sometimes, your goddamned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over! You’ve kept me honest. You made me a whole person. I owe you everything.

And it’s true. I love you, Special Agen— I mean, Megan. Thanks for saving me. A thousand times over. It’s 2014, let’s find some more adventures.

You game?

(Cue spooky music. Outward pan. Fade to black. Credits)

What TV shows do you relate to?

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5 comments

  1. I haven’t seen much of X-Files, but did enjoy the ones I’ve seen. I’m a Buffy nerd. Seen all seven seasons twice, and read philosophy books on that show.

  2. Wow! Where to start: 1) your great writing held me throughout this piece on–what?–“X-Files”? I never watched even when I had the chance; 2) what a sweet tribute to your wife; 3) uh, can’t explain why this single loves “Parenthood.” Perhaps because my family is the Braverman family. Great read!

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